If Britney had not cried out, she had no doubt that he would have ripped the shirt open, buttons be damned. ‘Nothing like Rachel.’ ‘What man could ever really want you?’ ‘Fat whore.’ The words played like a bad song through her mind. She felt the hot tears course down her cheeks. It was the one thing she could not allow. If those words brought pain, she knew that she could never survive the look of disappointment that was certain to be upon his face. She tiptoed across the nursery, looking back one final time at the babies sleeping peacefully in their cribs. She loved them. No matter how hard she had tried to protect her heart, the truth was that she probably had from that very first night as she watched Daniel and Samuel put the sleeping angels into their pink car seats. But she knew one thing, she could never live with that look. Not even as much as she loved them, as she loved him, she could never stay and see disappointment, disgust in the eyes of only the second man she had. "This has meant a lot to me." You're most welcome."The whole experience had taken just under an hour. I felt great. Ruth hadbeen so accepting of who I was. I walked across the busy sales floor, andrealised I was making no attempt to hide. My head was held high. I madeeye contact. Most didn't care about my appearance. A couple stared. Onesniggered.But this is who I am. I know that now. I'm the one who enjoys wearinghigh heels and carrying a handbag. I'm the one who feels more comfortablein women's clothing than my own. If I can handle that, why can't you?Nobody said anything. Just the occasional glance and smirk.I walked into the sunlight. It was a bright day and I happily saunteredto the car. Occasional looks again, but I maintained my composure. When Ireached the car I didn't breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn't scared orembarrassed. I wasn't nervous.I stopped and looked around. For the first time in my life of cross-dressing I wasn't fighting who I was. I wasn't conflicted or.
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